In partnership with
“Don’t take advice from people you wouldn’t want to swap with.”
But I kinda disagree. Sometimes knowing how that miserable single friend would handle a situation is the key on how not to be like them.
Learn from the losers. (It’s why I’m here. Lol)
I’m addicted to advice… Not because I’m going to take/ use it.
Nah I’m just fascinated by different perspectives. How they solve problems or if they see it as a problem at all. Basically…
The way people think and why they think that way. Lol. I like to create mental mind maps. Let me explain in this diagram.
MIND MAP CREATED!
The Optimist: “It’ll work out.” (Translation: they don’t plan, they vibe.)
The Cynic: “Don’t do it.” (Translation: they’ve been burned and now they’re smoke-alarmed.)
The Protector: “Play it safe.” (Translation: their nervous system is the CEO.)
The Builder: “Here’s a framework.” (Translation: they trust process more than feelings.)
The Chaos Artist: “Do it for the plot.” (Translation: they want your life to be a season finale.)
So when everyone disagrees, the move isn’t to collect more opinions.
The move is to sort the advice by what it reveals.
Once I have someone’s mind mapped out, I can indicate a few things…
The way they think, their logic and reasoning, you can predict future behaviors and patterns. This is also a way I keep myself safe.
It can become tricky, because I don’t want to overshare, or give private information out but I want to see how they handle a situation.
I know I’m not going to take their advice. I’m interested or just for the amusement of it.
But…
What happens when everyone has different perspectives and different ways of solving the scenario? What happens then… Or…
When everyones advice contradicts your gut… but your gut has gotten you in some shiii before…
What then?
WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOUR BRAIN STARTS HOLD ALL 4 PERSPECTIVE AT SAME G0D DAMN TIME!
WTF THEN??? LOL
You don’t ignore your gut. You interview that MF.
Gut, are you warning me because this is dangerous? Or are you being a little b!tch? OR…
Because this is unfamiliar?
If it’s unfamiliar, that’s not a red flag. That’s a path to growth you scary hoe.
IF it’s truly dangerous, your body will usually say it the same way twice. Calm. Clear. Usually…
Advice is rarely “the answer.” It’s a personality test in disguise.
Here’s What I Do When My Gut Is On Probation:
Step 1: “What is this advice optimizing for?”
Most advice is trying to protect one thing:
safety
ego
comfort
growth
control
image
love
money
peace
If someone’s advice optimizes for comfort and your goal is growth, you’ll feel “confused” when it’s really just… conflicting objectives.
Separate “risk” from “identity.”
Step 2: Run The Simulation
Run a simulation with the best 3 options…
Path A: Safe (least regret, least expansion)
Path B: Bold (more fear, more growth)
Path C: Balanced (measured risk, real progress)
Then ask:
If I choose this, what do I gain and lose?
What do I trade?
What does this teach me either way?
Have I tried this before?
If an option doesn’t teach you anything, it’s usually stagnation disguised as “being careful.”
The truth is…
I’m not lost because I hear too much advice…
I’m lost because I keep looking for someone else to validate the decision I’m afraid to make. Or take the risk cause fck it.
Is the juice worth the squeeze?
I can collect perspectives all day.
But I only follow the ones that align with:
my actual goal
my values
the version of me I’m trying to become
Everybody else is just… interesting commentary… And I love commentary.
I just don’t let it drive the car anymore. 🚗 🧠
_____________________________________________
Support my newsletter by checking out our sponsor by clicking on the link below. Love y’all.
Not Conservative. Not Liberal. Just Christian.
The world feels chaotic, but your news source doesn’t have to.
You can hide under a rock or spiral into the chaos… or you can subscribe to The Pour Over and get the news you need to know and the peace you crave.
Every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday, The Pour Over sends quick news summaries that are actually fun to read. Plus, each newsletter includes short biblical reminders to help you stay focused on Christ and eternity. Instead of fueling outrage or anxiety, the news becomes another prompt to rest in God and respond in faith.
Over 1.5 million Christians have ditched the doomscroll and found a better way to stay informed––Christ-first, anger-free, and (even kinda) funny.
Try it for free and check out their welcome email that’ll make you glad you did!