Hundreds of air conditioner units hum…

The wind blows violently through the storm clouds, as YOUNG ME (22) feet dangle in the air from the top ledge of a modern apartment high rise. 

Beneath him… 

Tiny cars, and tiny people with a sense of urgency. 

How easy it would be to just slip off the ledge. 

But instead he takes a bite of his great value ham and government cheese sandwich.

He ponders all of his poor choices, that led him to being locked up in jail and losing his high paying sales job. Now he’s stuck working in maintenance for bougie ass people.

His poor decisions ruined his life before it even began. 

The urge to lean forward increases, the negative thoughts get louder. He pops his earphones on, clicks shuffle on his phone and continues to eat.

The song “One man can change the world” by Big Sean comes on. He rolls his eyes. 

The lyrics:
“Look, think about it, close your eyes, dream about it.
Tell your team about it, go make million dollar schemes about it.”

He closes his eyes and visualizes him sitting in a directors chair on a movie set. 

The Lyrics: 
“Success is on the way, I feel it in the distance.
Used to look up at the stars and be like ain't too much that's different.”

As he opens his eyes the warm sunlight that has been blocked out till now hits his face, matching the lyrics perfectly.

The lyrics:
“I be shinin', they be shinin', get your one shot don't you miss it. What you know bout' wakin' up everyday like you on a mission?”

Flashback: A pastor praying over him when he was 14. The pastor tells him that God showed him a vision of Younger Me in military clothes fighting in a spiritual war. That God had huge plans for him. That he would use him and his talents to save many people’s souls for his kingdom. 🙄 

Man was he wrong. 😂

Even though at that age in my life (22) I was technically an agnostic, at the moment I truly believed God was talking to me. 

I had many pastors and missionaries tell me something similar growing up. I never bought into it. But I did that day… Why? 

Cause I needed to believe it. 

I often think about that day, and other similar pivotal days. How much of it was cope or a survival mechanism of the brain to remain alive or deal with high levels of stress. 

The older I get the less I believe that I’m meant for something great. The delusions of grandeur starts to fade when it doesn’t  match reality. 

Cause WTF makes me so special? It’s def just my mental illness talking.

Like many Bipolar people we know that euphoric feeling. That feeling like you are one of the chosen ones. 

However, I also have endless stories, similar to that one. Some crazy coincidences. Some stories are so insane I keep to myself cause if I told anyone they would think I was lying or that I was actually insane. 

My scientific, logical part of my brain is always at war with the spiritual part.

I always tell myself don’t be like Kanye… But… What about old Kanye?

 Hear me out… What if…

 We’re all the chosen ones? 🤯 What if, we all have a calling? And we just have to answer the call.

What if, We’re all Neo and Trinity? We just have to wake TF up and follow the right rabbit. LOL 

Okay time for a reality check. 

It’s cope. Most of us know that. 

Studies show that people who tend to romanticize life report that it improves mood, reduces anxiety, and boosts overall wellbeing by fostering presence and gratefulness.               

Researches state It can increase awareness and attention spans as it releases dopamine and grounds most people. It transform boring routines or mundane tasks into opportunities to enjoy the moment.

But it can also lead to delusions. Our brain is designed to look for meaning and keep us safe. It gives us that dopamine.

 But some of us take it to far and we lose the plot. Creating delusions. 

• Psychological Defense Mechanisms: Delusions can act as a coping mechanism against extreme stress, anxiety, or trauma. They may serve to protect a person's ego through projection, denial, or creating a sense of control in an unstable situation.

Reality is messy, confusing, and maybe meaningless/ pointless…
So we write in meaning, direct it with purpose, and edit it into a cosmic narrative.
-Chey (yes I quoted myself cause that shii is a banger)

Since I was a kid I always took it a little too far. 

Like the character Abed from the show community.

I always treated my life like an ongoing t.v show. Breaking the 4th wall, naming patterns, identifying arcs, treating random moments like they’re important because I need them to be important.

And then… There’s the other more cynical part of my brain…

The narrator in my head: J.D. from the show Scrubs vibe. The voiceover criticizing and talking shiii to me mostly. The maladaptive daydream cutaways. 

I had a pretty terrible childhood (I won’t trauma dump) so I would always reframe it or make it more comedic. Or daydream that I was in a fictional world I made up.

Like most things… There’s nuance… They have pros and cons. 

So with 33 years of experience and some google searching…

Here’s the RIGHT WAY and the WRONG WAY.

Research published studies that states the benefits of reframing your life as a Hero’s Journey... A common story formula that provides a template for ancient myths and most blockbusters can have lots of benefits.

So stressful parts of your life get reframed to “This is character development.”

The lowest parts of your life? “This is the setback that propels my comeback arc.”

Boring tasks or mundane routines like dead end jobs or working out 
“Welcome to the training arc”  “The come up”

When something goes wrong “This is some epic lore.” 

The perspective on the narrative changes reality doesn’t. This is crucial. 

So the struggle means something. You’re not denying, avoiding or escaping it…

You’re embracing it. It creates motivation but also momentum

Pain is just a chapter, not the whole book.

When the dark thoughts get louder than the cope,  and meaningless creeps in and takes over…

When it get’s hard to believe that better days are coming. 

Focus on the moment. ( A grounding therapeutic technique) Stay here right now. Regardless of what is happening. 

Putting on music and paying attention to details, like what I smell, how the air feels and my surrounding makes life a music video or a training montage. Or a cutaway scene.

It brings you back into your body. Mindfulness with better cinematography.

Romanticizing things can be a way to love the journey, progress and process of our day to day life. 

When you remember your characters motivation, the destination to your journey, and why you started it helps you not trip over the small things.

You pick your battles more wisely and learn that somethings don’t need your energy.

It also helps you refocus your attention to what matters. Less distractions.

Focus on the plot not the filler episodes and side quests.

When you pivot things more into a sitcom and less like drama. 

All of a sudden that annoying coworker that wants to act like a manager is Dwight from the office.

You look for the humor on how can I laugh at this instead of this sh!t pissing me off. (trust me it’s not easy)

Potential Downsides:

This is when things get so carried away you start to lose the plot.

NEVER LOSE THE PLOT.

When you begin to change reality to match your narrative, that becomes dangerous. 

Here’s how NOT to romanticize your life.

I remember listening to Kanye on Joe Rogan and him saying God told him to run for president. 

But he was late registering for some states and over all didn’t take it seriously. If he truly believed God wanted him to run for president he didn’t act like it. 

Regardless if you believe in God, The universe, Bitcoin or you’re an atheist. 

The saying “God helps those who help themselves.” Rings true no matter what. 

No matter how much you visualize or pray if you don’t move forward towards your dream and work on your goals it’s never going to happen. 

It’s not going to fall in your lap. 

The plot only moves if you do. Don’t get stuck in a rerun. 

You are the main character in your story… 

But it’s important to remember that everyone is the main character in theirs.
Always treat people as individuals… Respect that they have their own goals and aspiration. They are NOT props.

Sometimes we can get carried away and view that cute girl as a love interest or a muse… Which isn’t bad but the moment you forget that they are their own person, you’re losing the plot. 

That also goes for people you don’t like. They are not villains. People are complex and sometimes you don’t gel. When you begin to think of someone as a villain all of sudden your sh!tty actions become justified. Don’t do that. 

Always treat others like they’re the lead in their movie. That doesn’t mean diminish your role in your story either.

Don’t be selfish and just look out for you and your plot line.

“If you have to shrink everyone else to feel like the main character, you’re not starring, you’re directing insecurities.”

I have come close to death many times. In fact I have had two near death experiences. But here I am. 

Some will say that means “God still has a purpose for you.”
But that doesn’t mean I should start being reckless.

My mom stopped going to Doctor and let her health get out of hand because she thought God was going to heal her. It’s important to remember that our health is the most important thing. We are not untouchable or immune to harmful things, no matter how big your purpose is.

The universe does not revolve around you. Life does not owe you anything. Not everything is about you and that’s okay.

If you want something work, study and apply yourself as much as possible. If it didn’t work out that’s okay. It wasn’t meant for you. Some times not getting what you want is a blessing. 

I remember I didn’t get the job I wanted, and right after I applied and got best job I ever had. Then other times…

When someone else who was less qualified got the promotion, because they were cool with upper-management. I watched my mentor get overlooked for a promotion he deserved, not because he was cool person but the office would have been nothing without him.

It sucked and demoralizing to see someone who deserved it based on hard work get selected over the ass kisser.

He eventually got pushed out of the company all together on some “House of Cards” office politics shiii. But…

I later found out he works for Goldman Sachs now. 
Making triple what he made in the past.

Not rejection, redirection. Sometimes not getting what you want is a blessing. 

So on the next episode or movie in the franchise, just remember…

Don’t confuse “main character” with “no consequences.” 

There is no “Deus Ex Machina” 

The universe does NOT revolve around you.

Sometimes we get so caught up in our storyline we lose sight of that.
Not everything is a sign, or part of the prophecy. (That one is for me.)

Your choices do shape your story, but also others, so be mindful how your actions impact their plot lines. 

The universe is a stage but you’re not the only one who gets all the lines. 

Don’t let romanticizing become passive hope or faith instead of active actions and meaningful steps.

Romanticize the process, not the outcome. (Vibes don’t pay rent, actions do.)

Live your life everyday like it’s pivotable to the plot, because it is!