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Is your inner dialogue good management?

Ever heard the saying my inner dialogue is the biggest critics.
My mind is my biggest critic, and bully.
But how much of that is beneficial? 

Like is it a good coach who talks a lil sh!t to motivate you or an asian parent that is never satisfied. (Lol)

But holding yourself accountable and honest feedback is different than having a scorning voice that is hard on yourself.

One is beneficial and the other is detrimental.

So for us that have that inner dialogue… How do we check to see if it’s beneficial to us.

If if any of them are true calling yourself
“Lazy”,
“Unreliable”
Or “You always do this.”

It seems like holding yourself accountable but it’s not.
Calling ourself human garbage adds another problem.

So I did some research.
Turns out talking sh!t to yourself not only doesn’t help but makes things worse.

Researchers found that responding compassionately to personal failure increases motivation to improve.

Now they’re not talking about toxic positivity which is whole other beast…

But after 4 different experiments the group that failed their test studied harder and improved their test score after positive reinforcement and positive self talk. 

A 2023 review of 56 randomized trials found small to moderate immediate reductions in depressive symptoms, anxiety, and stress following self-compassion interventions.

So instead of your inner voice scolding you or giving you a disciplinary hearing.
What you want and need is to give it a GAME PLAN.
 
Like a coach from remember the titans type shiii.
So here is a short method. (Longer more in depth method below)

1. What happened?
“I missed Friday’s deadline.” Facts.
Leave the sh!t talking… “because I’m a burnt out loser ass bish.”.

2. What was my part?
“I overcommitted and waited too long to ask for help/ take action.” Own the choices we made. Include circumstances honestly without claiming responsibility for everything outside of our control.

3. What needs repair?
“I’m sorry I left you waiting. Can we agree on a smaller draft for Monday afternoon?” Listen to what the delay affected. Make a realistic commitment and follow through.

4. What support would help?
“A calendar reminder, fewer commitments, or asking someone to review the outline before I disappear into perfectionism.” Change something about how the work happens.

Conclusion

This should be more of a reflection exercise.
Like Coach giving you honest feedback so you can improve. 
Not a humiliation ritual.

Specific feedback.
Proportionate responsibility. One workable next step.

You can acknowledge that I fcked up while remembering that I deserve a chance to practice better behavior and I can only improve by making better plans without conducting a character assassination against myself.

Today’s prompt: “I did ___. It affected ___. My next step is ___.”

Fill it in. Then do the step.

Cause Old me thought:
“I just need to be tougher.”
“I just need more discipline.”
“I just need to stop being dramatic.” (lol)

New me? We’re learning: We need better systems.

So I’m rebuilding in public.
Loser to legend. One patch at a time.

Loser logging off.
Legend loading…

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